and you said cock pushups were impossible
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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