Best friends brother. Beat that.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
