Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
