My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So drunk its hurt
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
