S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize