Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
this is an emotional support booty call
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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