Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
