I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize