Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
