Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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