you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just found puke in my bra..
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
