It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
