I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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