So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
