Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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