you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
