can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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