it was like eating out sand paper
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
