Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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