I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
