My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
