Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
