The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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