remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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