didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
