Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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