69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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