I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
