I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Sober January is a disaster.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
