He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
