I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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