my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
