Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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