Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize