the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
