I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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