they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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