I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize