i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
honey bunches of taint.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
