Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
