we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
