Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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