you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
