making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
