My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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