Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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