my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
