I got chris browned last night
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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