I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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