i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
