you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
