I want to have your abortion
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
