I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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