I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
