It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
home. puking in laundry basket.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I have surprise drugs for everyone
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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