Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
