some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
North Korea, Best Korea!
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
