I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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