Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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