I looked at my own cervix.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
