Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
